I Need Me Some Greens

To my loyal and burgeoning number of readers and viewers, please pardon the brief departure from my usual witty banter and more typical video dispatches.

As you'll see from the evidence below, I wanted to document the harrassment I continue to receive when simply trying to consume my daily allowance of 'greens'. Ironically, one of my staff who shall remain nameless (you know who you are), regularly takes shots of wheat grass, adds 'tasty' whole food green powder to their fancy smoothies, and otherwise tries to get their greens without actually eating any real food. Whereas I, simply try to chow the old fashioned way.

That being said, I present "Exhibit A" below. Please contact my staff via email, phone or text to lodge your objections to this truly inhumane treatment.